USA Swimming Puts Dynamos In First

Da Nang Dynamos moved into first place in the Fantasy Olympics Tuesday as USA Swimming continued to dominate the medal count.  The Dynamos edged out Golden Girls for the overall lead by picking up eight overall medals, including medals in all four of the day's swimming events.  After golds from Alison Schmitt (women's 200 freestyle) and the men's 4x200 freestyle relay team, USA Swimming now has earned more fantasy points than all but two entire teams.  Schmitt now has three medals at the Olympics.  By the 2016 Rio games she will no longer need to use a mug shot as her official picture.

Postmodern Pentathlon had the second-biggest day, picking up 26.5 points thanks mostly to Germany's sweep of the equestrian events.  Had manager Lucas Tanglen not blown the first overall pick, the USA swimming points and first place would be his.  It's a small consolation indeed for a former newspaper copy editor to win two medals in something called "Individual Eventing."

A bronze medal from New Zealand's equestrian team moved Los Cornballers into double digits in points.  The reason that the defending champions have yet to win a gold is obvious based on this picture of Cornballers tennis stars Ana Ivanovic and Novac Djokovic, which was just posted to Ivanovic's Facebook fan page.  "I'm going to enjoy playing as a team with Novak in January," Ivanovic wrote. Clearly the Cornballers have no respect for their coaching staff and are just in London for sex.

STANDINGS THROUGH TUESDAY, JULY 31

1.  John Binz, Da Nang Dynamos
95.6 Points
Swimming 58.8 (6G, 6S, 4B)
Archery 15.6 (1G, 1B)
Judo 7.1 (1G)
Diving 6.2 (2S)
Gymnastics 2.8 (1S)
Fencing 2.5 (1B)
Canoeing 1.6 (1B)

2.  Theresa Yerger, Golden Girls
92.4 Points
Weightlifting 23.4 (3G, 1S)
Fencing 22.5 (1G, 2S, 1B)
Diving 18.9 (3G)
Shooting 18.4 (2G, 1S, 1B)
Equestrian 4.2 (1S)
Judo 3.6 (1S)
Gymnastics 1.4 (1B)

3.  Brian Schwartz, The Jim Thorpes
59.1 Points
Judo 17.9 (1G, 2S, 2B)
Swimming 17.6 (1G, 3S, 2B)
Fencing 12.5 (1G, 1B)
Diving 4.7 (1S, 1B)
Weightlifting 3.3 (1S)
Canoeing 3.1 (1S)

4.  Lucas Tanglen, Postmodern Pentathlon
55.8 Points
Equestrian 18.7 (2G, 1B)
Judo 8.9 (1G, 1B)
Shooting 6.7 (1G)
Archery 6.3 (1S)
Canoeing 6.3 (1G)
Swimming 7.5 (5B)
Gymnastics 1.4 (1B)

5.  Christina Binz, Zurich Zebras
46.8 Points
Weightlifting 15.1 (1G, 1B)
Archery 12.5 (1G)
Judo 7.1 (1G)
Gymnastics 5.6 (1G)
Fencing 5 (1S)
Swimming 1.5 (1B)

6.  Craig Emmert, Craig's Team
41.1 Points
Swimming 17.6 (2G, 2G)
Shooting 6.6 (2S)
Gymnastics 5.6 (1G)
Judo 5.4 (3B)
Equestrian 4.2 (1S)
Weightlifting 1.7 (1B)

7.  Dave Spence, Paragons
26.2 Points
Shooting 13.4 (2G)
Archery 6.3 (1S)
Judo 3.6 (1S)
Swimming 2.9 (1S)

8.  Ellis Kunka, Los Cornballers
11.2 Points
Cycling 2.8 (1S)
Gymnastics 2.8 (1S)
Equestrian 2.1 (1B)
Judo 1.8 (1B)
Shooting 1.7 (1B)