While publicly portraying an aura of confidence, Fantasy Summer Olympics coaches have recently become concerned that it is goddamn impossible to know much about all of these sports that nobody cared about for the last four years.
As compared to the Fantasy Winter Olympics, the number of sports has nearly doubled from 15 to 29. Yet the number of sports that it is possible to correctly predict based solely on racism only increased from ten to 13. Moreover, some coaches are afraid of key Summer Olympic elements such as kayaks and horses.
A sampling of coaches' comments:
Lucas Tanglen: "There's no way I can prepare for this draft by tomorrow."
Brian Schwartz: "I haven't watched the summer Olympics since Anna Lindberg was in it." "Crap, she was in it in 2004 and 2008? I guess I should have watched."
Christina Binz: "I don't understand any of it."
Craig Emmert: "Hopefully Annie will do all my research."
One might expect that a group of young American adults would know nothing about such things as mathematics or world politics. However, the lack of women's handball knowledge in this group is frankly appalling. There's also a nasty rumor going around that one coach, Ellis Kunka, could only name eleven of the 14 weight classes in judo.
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My first actual, no doubt laugh out loud since the last fantasy olympics. pure genius.
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