Chinese table tennis player Ding Ning, who is favored to win two gold medals in London, admitted today that she learned the sport while drunk in the basement of the Tau Kappa Epsilon house at Heilongjiang University.
Dave Spence chose the Chinese table tennis team with his first round pick - apparently unaware that in northeast China, "hard work and dedication" is just a synonym for "Goldschläger and poor taste in men." Fantasy Summer Olympics Blog has obtained this photo of the hallowed training ground.
Ning dated one of the Tekes for two years, if "dating" consists of playing ping-pong and Spades in that disgusting basement and then walking home unsatisfied when your boyfriend passes out drunk on Milwaukee's Best Ice. But her boyfriend seemed to be maturing and even surprised her with a trip to the Netherlands after spring semester finals in 2011. She was certain he would propose to her during the vacation - but it turned out that the idiot had only brought her to Rotterdam to control her into competing in the World Table Tennis Championships.
Ning won the individual gold medal and a team silver, which empowered her to break up with that dick and refuse to be on his team for the mixed doubles tournament. Back on campus, she subsequently dated two other TKE brothers to make her ex jealous. The Tekes are the only house that plays ping-pong instead of beer pong, so her skills continued to improve and she is now ranked #1 in the ITTF World Rankings.
Ning, 22, is hopeful that this won't be her last Olympics: Kappa Alpha Psi has an air hockey table and she expects this Justin guy to text her back before the 2014 Sochi Games.
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